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Talk:Time Paradox from an Adventure in Hell/@comment-10976653-20150930004447
HiddenlichInferno Lich: Blue girl. I remember you from our last encounter... *3:55Garbled Red TextAshe: I don't. *Alia: That's not a surprise *3:56HiddenlichInferno Lich: Good, you don't need to. *Hinderlich: What was with all of those traps? *3:56Garbled Red TextAshe: Weeelll... *Ashe: For defence *3:57Finn168719Finn: Defense? *3:57Garbled Red TextAshe: I need to protect all this machinery and myself from people like you *3:57HiddenlichHinderlich: Why's that? *3:57Garbled Red TextAshe: You're kidding *3:58Finn168719Finn: There's terrible security around here. *3:58HiddenlichInferno Lich: I agree, someone could just have sent suicide bombers here, and this place would be in bits *3:59Garbled Red TextAshe: Oh, yeah. Blow this place up. GREAT IDEA! *3:59HiddenlichHinderlich: Could you explain to us specifically why you were trying to KILL US? *3:59Garbled Red TextAshe: Well..... *Ashe: You see... Dad has reprogrammed me on his side. *Ashe: And this means, that all, and I mean ALL allies are now enemies *Ashe: That means you, that means my sister and that means whatever else is living here, except for the goons *4:01HiddenlichHinderlich: What about the camo geckos that eat cords? *4:01Finn168719Finn: What about Hal 9000? *4:01Garbled Red TextAshe: The geckos are destroying machinery here! *Ashe: And Hal is right now on the bottom floor, alongside that grump core, who wanted to place himself in charge here! *4:02HiddenlichInferno Lich: I should kill you for that. We only came here for answers. *4:02Garbled Red TextAshe: What kind of? *4:03Finn168719Finn: I heard Hal 9000 had a crush on Glados. *4:03HiddenlichInferno Lich: Secrets have been kept out of our reach. *4:03Garbled Red TextAshe: I give you five minutes, to ask me whatever you have in mind, before i get rid of you *Ashe: Secrets, eh? For what exactly? *4:03HiddenlichHinderlich: Tell us about GLaDOS's talks with the alien AI of Project Blackwell *4:04Garbled Red TextAshe: Well... I still haven't dug through all of her files in her database, so I can't really say anything. *4:05HiddenlichInferno Lich: What can you tell me about these... Aperbot androids. *4:05Garbled Red TextAshe: Those things are primitive. *Ashe: They were commonly used for testing or defence *4:06HiddenlichInferno Lich: Sounds like the Aperbots were precursors to something bigger. *4:06Garbled Red TextAshe: That was because of a flaw in their system *4:06HiddenlichInferno Lich: Interesting... *4:06Garbled Red TextAshe: Someone hacked in their systems one day, causing them to turn against everyone! *4:07HiddenlichBlackwell: So true... **All of the lights turn back on *4:08Garbled Red TextAshe: You have 2 more minutes, to ask your questions, before I get rid of you. *Ashe: So be quick *4:09Finn168719Finn: Why did your father reprogrammed you? *4:10HiddenlichBlackwell: I actually enjoy these trespassers. *Blackwell: FHAOPFHAPOFIAHOPFkFHPOAIFHJAPUFHAI *4:10Garbled Red TextAshe: Well... I couldn't protect myself from him and at one point, he finally got his hands on me... And instead of using me as a target, he decided to use me as an overseer *Ashe: 1 minu.... What's wrong with your friend here? *4:11HiddenlichInferno Lich: Wise decision your father made. *4:11Garbled Red TextAshe: But I don't know why he turned me into a giant *4:12Hiddenlich*Blackwell is battling other Aperture AI for control over the facility *4:12Garbled Red TextAshe: Well... Your time is up *4:12HiddenlichInferno Lich: Not so fast, m'lady. *Inferno Lich: My time isn't up. *4:12Garbled Red Text*the floor panels begin to move, making a large opening *Ashe: I am not going to kill you *4:13HiddenlichInferno Lich: Just like how you sounded so kind in welcoming us *4:13Garbled Red TextAshe: Just throw you with the trash *Ashe: I sure did. *Ashe: Because it was a very neat trick. *4:14HiddenlichInferno Lich: Well, if we are going to be trashed, then you are coming with us. *4:14Garbled Red Text*wall panels begin to move, pushing everyone except Ashe to the opening *Ashe: No I am not. *4:14HiddenlichHinderlich: AHHHHHH!!! *4:15Garbled Red TextAshe: Why should I? **everyone fall in the opening *4:15Finn168719Finn: Just pull Ashe's head to the trash! *4:15HiddenlichInferno Lich is in the pit *4:15Garbled Red TextAlia: Nah. That can't shut her up **everyone is now at the bottom of the pit *4:16Finn168719Finn: Here goes the star wars episode 4 cliche. *4:16HiddenlichInferno Lich tries to create fire, but is unable to *4:16Garbled Red TextAlia: There are no garbage disposals here *4:17HiddenlichHinderlich: I am waiting for death of some sort... *4:17Garbled Red TextAlia: The trash just stacks up here *4:17HiddenlichHinderlich looks at the trash covered ground *Hinderlich: So, this isn't the actual floor? *4:17Garbled Red TextAlia: Only way you can die is of starvation, a still living turret or whatever else *Alia: It is. *Alia: Oh, wait. It's not *4:18HiddenlichInferno Lich: Well, I might as well find my hole I am going to live in for a while *Inferno Lich runs off into the western part of the trash pit *4:18Garbled Red Text*there is a voice heard from the distance *???: HEY! IS THERE ANYONE THERE?! *???2: YOU ARE MISHEARING STUFF AGAIN, YOU IDIOT! *4:19HiddenlichHinderlich: 5 PEOPLE! *Hinderlich: YOUR NOT INSANE! *4:19Garbled Red Text???: HAHA! I TOLD YOU, MAN! *???2: TELL THEM TO GET HERE! *???2: WE DON'T HAVE LEGS OR HANDS YOU KNOW! *4:20HiddenlichHinderlich: *Nervously* Finn? What do you think about this entire situation? *4:20Garbled Red TextAlia: I think, that I just found a way to get Ashe on our side. *4:21HiddenlichHinderlich: Through hacking? Going onto her side and betraying her? *4:21Garbled Red TextAlia: Hacking. *4:21Finn168719Finn: This situation appears to be hard, but at least we kicked the mutant *sses because they are terrible at security. *4:21Garbled Red TextAlia: Let's go see what was calling us. *4:21HiddenlichHinderlich: Alright *4:21Garbled Red TextAlia: It was that way! *4:22HiddenlichHinderlich runs in that direction *4:22Garbled Red Text*Alia reaches the place **there are 2 cores on the ground *4:22Finn168719Finn and Yoko follows *4:23Garbled Red Text*one, that is RED and another one, which is completely white, with a yellow eye *???: I TOLD YOU, RED! *Red: Gah! I know! *Alia: Grandpa? *Red: Oh, hi! *Alia: Who's the other one? *???: I AM CAVE JOHNSON! FORMER CEO OF APERTURE SCIENCE, who is know laying here, alongside the former leader of android hell *Red: Lemme guess, Ashe pushed you here, after reaching her lair *4:25HiddenlichHinderlich: And your still alive? *4:26Garbled Red TextCave: We are here for 3 days already! *Red: And his battery last one week *Cave: Yours too! *Red: I KNOW, DAMMIT! *Alia: So... Can't you shapeshift or anything? *Red: No. Ashe was able to somehow block my powers! Now I am weak! *4:27Finn168719Finn: We should probably pick them up. *4:27HiddenlichHinderlich: That explains why Inferno couldn't create fire... *4:28Garbled Red TextRed: BUT! If we are able to hack in Ashe's mainframe, we will be able to get our powers back *Cave: And I will get it back on her, for throwing me here! *4:29HiddenlichInferno Lich: Mr. Johnson, I will make sure you get revenge *Inferno Lich comes up behind Hinderlich *4:29Garbled Red TextCave: Thanks! *Alia: Is there any exit? *4:30Finn168719Finn: I hope there are exits. *User909 has come to chat. Weegee has followed. *4:30Garbled Red TextRed: Yeah. There is an elevator *4:30HiddenlichHello 909 *4:30User909hai *4:30Garbled Red Texthi 909 *4:30Finn168719Hello 909 *4:30HiddenlichHinderlich: An elevator? In a trash heap? What kind of building plan does Aperture have for standard facilities? *4:31Garbled Red TextCave: We got a bunch of test subjects fall here a long time ago! *Dudeguy WC has come to chat. Weegee has followed. *4:31Garbled Red TextCave: So blame it on the architects. But don't worry. THE ARE FIRED! *4:31HiddenlichInferno Lich: Burying the evidence, aye? *4:31Garbled Red TextCave: No. *4:31HiddenlichHello Dudeguy *4:31Dudeguy WCHello *4:32HiddenlichInferno Lich: D*mn. *4:32Finn168719Hello *4:32Dudeguy WCAny of you have some pages with bad grammar I could test something with my bot on? *4:32Finn168719Finn: Let's get to the elevator already. *4:32Garbled Red TextCave: I don't plan on wasting people jus because of their idiocy *4:32HiddenlichDimension Cycle *4:32Garbled Red TextCave: So that's why I made the elevator *4:33HiddenlichInferno Lich: Alright. *4:33Garbled Red TextRed: It's right behind you *4:33HiddenlichInferno Lich: Wait what? *Hinderlich: WHY DIDN'T YOU-oh wait, your cores. *4:34Garbled Red TextRed: Like. NO WAY! *4:34Finn168719Finn: Who would volunteer to pick up the cores *4:34Garbled Red TextRed: Pick us off the ground and let;s get outta here *4:34Finn168719Finn picks up Red *4:34HiddenlichInferno Lich: I will carry Mr. Johnson. *Inferno Lich picks him up *Hinderlich: So, what's the plan? How are we going to get to Ashe without falling in another trap? *4:36Garbled Red TextAlia: Let's go then *4:36Finn168719Finn and Yoko walks to the elevator *4:37HiddenlichHinderlich and Inferno Lich get into the elevator, with Cave Johnson in Inferno's arms *4:37Garbled Red Text*the elevator opens, revealing the large space inside and a defective turret in the middle *Alia: Uh... *4:37Finn168719Yoko shoots the defective turret in the face *4:37Garbled Red TextDefective Turret: To which floor may I get you? *Defective Turret: OW! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?! *4:38Finn168719Yoko: I thought you might shoot us in sight. *4:38Garbled Red TextDefective Turret: The ones from my type shoot only blanks *4:38HiddenlichBlackwell: *Over the speaker* I would like to read you mutants yet another email I found on Kane Kingston's Hotmail account *4:38Finn168719Finn: Here goes the boring information about Kane. *4:38HiddenlichBlackwell: This time it's a little juicy. *Blackwell: I am reading this with emotion, so that you will understand the difference between sarcastic and literal messages *4:39Garbled Red TextRed: To Ashe's lair, Defective. *Defective Turret: Alright. **the elevator starts moving up *Cave: What the hell has happened here... *4:42HiddenlichInferno Lich: It looks like ruins from a 3rd or 4th world country. *4:42Garbled Red TextCave: This was a company for testing of portals and other stuff... *Cave: And now it's ruled by a crazy cyborg woman and there is android hell... *4:43HiddenlichBlackwell: Why do you want to talk about my species so much? *Blackwell: Your anatomically is, well, different from a Lich, yet you keep saying over and over that your genetic composition is pure Lich. **Anatomy *Blackwell: I reincarnated into a human after being killed by my father in efforts for human study *4:45Garbled Red TextAlia: I don't think it's talking about dad *4:46HiddenlichBlackwell: Yeah, right. Just like my pet goldfish died when I was 5 years old, and my mother said it went on a submarine mission to Antarctica, and died *Blackwell: Instead of admitting the cat got it. *Dudeguy WC has been tracked and ambushed by Weegee. *4:47HiddenlichBlackwell: This is nothing like that, Horowitz. You should now by now I am an alien being, and not of this world. *Blackwell: At least your first incarnation is. *Blackwell: What in the name of h*ll is that supposed to mean? *Blackwell: Your human now. All traces of Lich DNA were virtually erased after you reincarnated into a human. *Blackwell: I am sorry, but I need to stop the email reading here. The AIs are getting wild with me again. *4:49Garbled Red TextAlia: Alright. *4:49HiddenlichBlackwell: Next time, the Juggling Mutants will be speaking about their inspirational battle against the dictatorship of Ugotov! *4:49Finn168719Finn: Okay then. *4:49Garbled Red Text*the elevator reaches its stop *Defective Turret: This is the floor you asked for, folks. Ashe's lair *4:50HiddenlichInferno Lich: *Whisper* Time for revenge, Mr. Johnson. *4:50Garbled Red TextCave: hohohoho! I am ready as all hell! *4:51Finn168719Finn: *whispers* It's your turn to get revenge on Ashe. *4:51Hiddenlich*The door opens *4:51Garbled Red TextRed: There should be a connector somewhere around here. *4:51Finn168719Finn: *whispers* Mr. Johnson, just call Ashe, Ash Ketchum. *4:51Garbled Red TextCave: Hah. *Cave: Now let's get to work. *4:52HiddenlichInferno Lich: Not again. I am sensing that a dark presence. **- *4:52Garbled Red TextCave: What? *4:53HiddenlichBlackwell: *Messy* There was once a legend, of the Aperture Core. It tells of a blue eyed core that rose up against the corrupt GLaDOS, and took control of Aperture himself. *4:53Garbled Red TextAlia: That must be Wheatley *4:54HiddenlichBlackwell: *Messy* But he was defeated, by a human with a portal gun, eager to restore GLaDOS's dictatorship. *Blackwell: *Messy* He was sent to space, where he wouldn't return to Earth for *ERROR* years. *Blackwell: This is his third coming, after many years of exile and reconciliation. *Blackwell: *Messy* I am only a prophet speaking on his be-OFAJPIFHAFPHPOAHFPAIHFAHPSFOUHAIFh *Blackwell: DESTROY ANY NETWORK HUB YOU CAN FIND! WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THESE AI DON'T LEAVE THE NETWORK TO TAKE- APOHFPAOFHPAFH *Inferno Lich: Let's just find the blue metal lady already and kill her! *4:56Garbled Red TextRed: I can see a contact over there. *Red: Connect me to it. *4:57Finn168719Finn: Okay then. *Finn walks to a contact to connect Red to it *4:58Garbled Red TextRed: Finnally! **the speakers activate* *4:58Hiddenlich*The sound of footsteps can be heard *They are very close *4:58Garbled Red TextAshe: HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! YOU WERE ON THE LAST FLOOR OF THE FACILITY! *Cave: There was an elevator, that I installed there centuries ago! *4:58HiddenlichInferno Lich: SOUNDS LIKE THE DEMONS ARE HERE TO TAKE US OVER! *4:59Finn168719Finn pulls out the shotgun *4:59Garbled Red TextAshe: Demons? *4:59HiddenlichHinderlich: I will handle them, just stop Ashe! *4:59Garbled Red TextAshe: The Hell are you talking about? *4:59Hiddenlich*The mutants break through a door *Hinderlich takes out his dual pistols, and shoots at the mutants *4:59Garbled Red TextAshe: Now those here are not mine! **Red's eye glows **a fireblast from Red's eye hits the mutants, killing most of them *5:00Finn168719Finn started shooting the mutants with a shotgun *5:00HiddenlichInferno Lich: THE SAGE IS HERE! HE CONTROLS THE MUTANT HORDE NOW! *5:01Garbled Red TextRed: Sage, eh? *Red: I heard of him. *5:01HiddenlichInferno Lich: LONE LICH! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, IT'S INFERNO LICH! YOUR "OLD FRIEND" FROM SILUS! THE SAGE IS HERE, AND HE IS CRAVING FOR CONTROL! *Hinderlich: He's dead, remember? *Inferno Lich: He seems to always come back from the dead, even if his term is up. *5:02Finn168719Finn: I wonder if Nourgodiddly1592 can defeat Ashe. *5:02Garbled Red TextRed: He can't. *5:03HiddenlichHinderlich: JUST GO! I CAN HANDLE THEM! *5:03Finn168719Finn: Alright then. *5:03Garbled Red TextRED: Finnally, I am back! *5:03HiddenlichInferno Lich: WHERE IS THIS WITCH ALREADY? *5:03Garbled Red Text*RED gets off the contact **RED rams into a wall, revealing Ashe's lair *RED: FOUND YOU, YOU TRAITOROUS KID! *5:04HiddenlichInferno Lich: You really need to station yourself somewhere else... *5:04Garbled Red TextAshe: Blame the person who got me stuck here! *5:05HiddenlichFireballs appear in Inferno Lich's palms *5:05Garbled Red TextAshe: Uh... *5:05HiddenlichInferno Lich: Now, what electrical works can damage this one... *5:06Garbled Red Text*Ashe rips off all the cables, that attach her to the servers, breaks a wall and runs way *RED: Let me handle this **RED turns into his chaser form *5:06HiddenlichInferno Lich: JOHNSON! WE NEED TO MAKE A MOVE, NOW! *5:06Garbled Red TextRED: YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANNOT OUTRUN ME! *Cave: Connect me to the cables down there. *5:06HiddenlichInferno Lich: Do you know anything that could shut Ashe down remotely? *5:07Garbled Red TextAlia: You can't. She's a human, you know. *5:07HiddenlichInferno Lich attaches Johnson to the cables *5:07Garbled Red TextAlia: But RED can get her in either a com, either kill her. *5:07HiddenlichInferno Lich: Her mind isn't a human mind. It's just a machine. *5:07Garbled Red Text*RED returns, draggin Ashe's body *5:07HiddenlichInferno Lich: Now, time for an intervention *Inferno Lich combines his fireballs *5:08Garbled Red TextRED: Even though she was as big as me, she still couldn't fight me off **RED puts Ashe's body on the ground *5:08HiddenlichInferno Lich: So, young lass, do you know the consequences of your actions? *5:08Garbled Red TextAshe: *sarcastically* Uhh... NO! *Ashe: OF COURSE I DO! *5:09HiddenlichInferno Lich: Easy, easy. *Inferno Lich: Your punishment will be severe. *5:10Garbled Red TextAshe: Yea, right.; *5:10HiddenlichInferno Lich: But you can choose. *5:10Finn168719Finn: Let's hope that a blue guy didn't appear. *5:10Garbled Red TextAshe: I'd rather die, than tell you anything! *5:11HiddenlichInferno Lich: I can burn you alive, sacrifice you to the Sage in order to rid this place of all mutants, resulting in your painful death, or Cave could torture you with all of his torture devices he has in the facility *Inferno Lich: Until death... *5:11Garbled Red TextCave: Listen to me, Ashe *Cave: I know, that you are on X's side now, but.. *Cave: If you tell us, I will bring you back to new Aperture and keep you out of our situation *Ashe: I..... I agree. *5:12HiddenlichHinderlich: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *Hinderlich is thrown through the wall *5:12Finn168719Finn: What the!?! *5:12Garbled Red TextAlia: What the?! *5:12HiddenlichHe snaps his spine, killing him instantly *????: ORO SATO! *Inferno Lich: Just in time, Mr. Sage. *5:13Garbled Red TextAlia: Sage? *5:13HiddenlichInferno Lich: I see the first civilization sent you back for another attempted encounter with Aita. *Inferno Lich: The last few times, you have been born as a Lich-Human hybrid, but you never figured out your purpose until a short time ago. *5:15Garbled Red TextAshe: Who the heck are you?! *5:15Finn168719Finn: Who the heck are you? *5:15Hiddenlich????: I am the Sage amongst your kind, the one to bring back the First Civilization's control! *Inferno Lich: You killed my buddy here in the process. Why's that? Did he make you stub your- *???? shoots Inferno Lich in the soldier, with a magnum **Shoulder *5:16Finn168719Finn: ... *5:16Garbled Red Text*Ashe get up *5:16HiddenlichInferno Lich: So you have guns on you. Neat. *5:17Garbled Red TextAshe: Ugh. *5:17HiddenlichInferno Lich: But Mr. Sage, why don't you reveal yourself to your human family. *Inferno Lich: I mean, you were born from them. *5:17Garbled Red TextAlia: And... actually knew it *Alia: You are talking about me, aren't you? *5:18HiddenlichSage: Heh heh heh heh. The Templars got here faster than I had hoped. *Sage: Maybe this time Inferno is an Assassin. *Inferno Lich: Enough with your conspiracy theories! You don't make any sense at all... *5:20Garbled Red TextAshe: Get to the point, or I will kill you! *5:20Finn168719Finn: That's what i was going to do!?! *5:20HiddenlichSage: I am. *5:20Garbled Red TextAlia: Well, do it already! *5:20HiddenlichSage: Jakyll Morales Kingston, born as a Thorn hopeful. *Inferno Lich throws two fireballs at the Sage *5:21Garbled Red TextAlia: And thus, I knew it *5:21HiddenlichThe Sage is caught on fire *5:21Finn168719Finn started shooting at Sage's face *5:21HiddenlichSage: AHHHHHHHHH!!! *The Sage falls to the ground *5:21Garbled Red TextAlia: You are the only person I knew, who was a half- human half- lich *5:21HiddenlichSage: *Coughs* My end came so quick.... *Sage: *Coughs* I was never able to find Juno... *5:22Garbled Red TextAlia: Juno? *5:22Finn168719Finn: Juno? *5:22HiddenlichSage: *Coughs* Bring her back to the great beyond with me... *5:22Garbled Red TextAlia: Who is that? *5:22Finn168719Finn: Who is that Juno person? *5:22HiddenlichSage: She was one of the first civilization. *5:22Garbled Red TextAlia: I got no idea. *Alia: Oh *5:23HiddenlichSage: *Cough* After she died, her soul was trapped by human priests, thinking it was a goddess. *5:23Garbled Red TextAlia: Where? *5:23HiddenlichSage: Then afterwards... *Sage: *Exhales heavily* *Sage: Syria... a destroyed temple in Syria... *5:24Garbled Red TextAlia: Alright. *5:24Finn168719Finn: Okay then. *5:25HiddenlichSage: Templars got to it first... robbed all of it artifacts... and bombed- *The Sage dies *5:25Garbled Red TextAshe: But first, I gotta do something! **Ashe takes out a communicator *5:25HiddenlichInferno Lich burns the Sage's corpse *Inferno Lich: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! *Inferno Lich: I MAY BE PSYCHOTIC, BUT I KNOW THE JOY OF KILLING! *User909 has been tracked and ambushed by Weegee. *5:27Garbled Red TextAshe: *through the communicator* We are all in the main room. You can go here now.